Breastfeeding: Nursing in Public

As a mom-to-be, the idea of nursing in public made me cry. Not even being in public, but even just in front of other people. Some of it was justified--babies aren't born knowing how to nurse neatly, and mommies aren't born knowing how to do all these holds. True story--I literally cried at the mere thought of even my dad seeing me breastfeed. A year later, I almost laugh it was such a stupid worry.

But for me, it all changed. First, I was running errands one day and I was really trying not to give Ellie formula to help my supply rebuild, and at my last errand a block from home, she had to eat. And I had to go in the store. I remember hussling this whiny, rooting baby around and the manager told me the baby was hungry and she would just nurse the kid. I knew she was hungry but wasn't feeding her because I had to make this stop and get home.

Covers never seemed viable to me, or healthy for that matter. Even just a blanket or scarf--Ellie uncovers her head, you can't see to adjust them, they rebreathe air, and you have to be able to sit.

Then a mom at a YMCA in Charlotte, where I live, was kicked out for nursing her baby. In violation of state law, I might add. I was on the verge, but I couldn't figure out how to make nursing in public work for me.

And then I saw this picture on my newsfeed:

My high school classmate, Facebook friend, and nursing idol

This kindly fellow mother also advised me that it was easiest to wear two layers and go up one and pull the bottom one down. And thus a public, uncovered breastfeeder was born. I'm now such a beast that I can and will give Ellie her nursies under any circumstances and wearing any clothing. Most times, you'll see less skin than on any television show or on many advertisements. Why? Because nursing in public uncovered is easy no matter what your personal level of comfort is.

Here's the thing. Ellie lives for the boob. She likes to eat and she loves to nurse to sleep. And she's not stupid. She knows where they are and that shirts go down and up. And why shouldn't she get to eat the way she eats. It's her legal right, but isn't it also morally right to let babies eat the way they eat? It's a social experience, eating, and we never expect anyone else, including bottlefed babies, to eat under cover when she's out and about.

Consider the message you're conveying, that it's too shameful to be seen. That it's secret. George Takei said this about SCOTUS's landmark decision about DOMA: "I've watched the 'ick' infect American life in a variety of ways and concluded that it's little more than a function of unfamiliarity. ... Even I was taken aback the first time I saw two men being affectionate in public. The 'ick' runs deep, instill unease even in those for whom an act is natural." I think it applies to nursing in public uncovered. The law supports it, so hopefully, the unfamiliarity and ick factor will go away and breastfeeding will be truly supported and not just a slogan.

Ask yourself why so few women in the US reach their own breastfeeding goals, much less the recommendations of the WHO (2 years minimum). It's because we don't support breastfeeding adequately, and we don't empower new moms to be bold in their decision to nurse on demand for as long as the baby wants. Whenever, wherever. We turn the easiest part of mothering (although not to say that it never has challenges), into a production that requires consumerism, extra gear to haul around, and privacy, shame, accusations of immodesty, and comparisons of the milk your body creates to shit. Literally people compare breastfeeding in public to pooping, and therefore your milk to shit. But breast is best, huh?

The only way to remove the ick and change the culture around nursing is to nurse in public, unashamed. So that's what I do. And for the record, no one ever says or has said anything to me. But I hear I have a bitchface.